The way Jesus has been speaking to me is crazy.
Absolutely, undeniably, insane.
To start – my whole life I had heard over and over that you are supposed to have a carved out time, every day, where you go into your prayer closet and get before Him and pray. I’m learning right now, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that – if God speaks to you that way, please continue to do it.
But I think because of this expectation I had of a perfect, private, quiet time every day I felt like I was failing at prayer, which made me feel like I was failing at my faith.
In reality though, that’s not even the case.
Not even CLOSE to it.
In fact, I think I may be at the deepest point in my relationship with Jesus that I’ve ever been before.
Truly, he has become my best friend, in every way possible.
I think a lot of times we compartmentalize prayer, as something that we do at a specific time and a specific place. But when that was my mindset it didn’t matter how many days a week I spent in prayer, I never felt like my relationship with Jesus was progressing. He would speak, it would be good, but our intimacy felt the same.
But now with Jesus —
There’s such a difference between saying that He is my best friend and really seeing it. My best friends, I talk a lot about. It seems like every day I’m telling some kind of story about something they did, or a memory we shared. I feel like it’s the same with Jesus. I talk to and about Him often — daily actually. Now that He has become my best friend, I can’t help but talk about the memories we share and about the things that He’s done.
Rather than a carved out time each day where I compartmentalize when I should hear from Him, I walk with Him throughout my day. I start each morning and end each night in His Word – taking up maybe five minutes each time! DEFINITELY not enough to sustain me fully, but like I said before, I walk with Him throughout my day.
My morning drives to school are primarily my worship time, and rather than just choosing songs at random, I hand pick songs with declarations that I want to sing over that day. When the music is off, I pray over my day, asking Jesus to use me, to live IN me, to change my heart, to focus my attention — whatever the need may be for that day!
My afternoon drives home from school are a lot like therapy. I imagine Jesus sitting in the passenger seat of my car, and we just hash it out. I tell him the good, the bad, and the ugly about my day (as if he doesn’t already know). I ask Him for advice, and He gives it… and it’s good. Like really, really good. Like so much better than my roommates good. (love you Jo & Alexa)
When I’m overwhelmed, stressed, tired, sad, annoyed – I just simply say “Lord – I need you. I can’t do this without you. Give me wisdom and strength.”
Let me just say, it’s amazing what living in a state of constant surrender and trust can do for your mental and emotional health.
I think in the past I’ve struggled with relying on my friends to make me feel better, or to fix my problems when they arise. As great as my friends are though, even a temporary “girls night” fix doesn’t TRULY satisfy me.
They can’t bring me real peace.
Real joy.
Real contentment.
As cliché as it may sound, I only find that with Jesus.
My ultimate BEST friend.
“And pray in the Spirit on ALL occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” (Ephesians 6:18)
ALL occasions.
It’s wild to me that I had overlooked that verse for so long.
The way Jesus has been speaking to me is crazy.
Absolutely, undeniably, insane.
But hey, if this is what it’s like to KNOW the voice of God and to be in relationship with Him — I would not have it any other way.
A Change of Key 